Almost Old

I feel old. Not in the bone-creaking, weary way that grandparents say they feel old but in the way that only young people can mean it. Old, older, it’s all the same right now, I guess. I’m sure that 20 years from now I will look back on this and laugh but for now? Today? I feel old.

Time is moving forward all around me. People are getting older and dying, babies are growing up and attending college. Life. Moves. On. Even now. I’m older than I was last week, last month, last year. I’m older now, closer to the end, closer to tomorrow, closer than I was when I started writing this. I guess it’s just one of those days, you know?

My birthday is on Monday. I will be 27. I keep thinking “this isn’t how I thought my life would be. This isn’t who I thought I would become.” but the reality of it all is that whether or not I am the person I saw myself becoming when I was a child…this is so much better. It’s lightyears away from where I thought I would be. I am not the woman the 10 year old me planned…but I like this version more. I like the spontaneous way I live my life. I like me. I have chosen to embrace this life and it’s working out pretty great.

My advice to everyone for the coming year is this: whatever life hands you, decide now you will make the best of it. Death, disease, birth, laughter, health, disasters, parties…parties that end in disaster, failure, fatigue, excitement… It’s all part of life. Make an effort to love it and whatever comes your way won’t seem so bad.

Happy Saturday, world.

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