Oh. My. God. Becky, look…

So, there I am, standing in the middle of Macy’s.  A few racks of clothing away is a mid-thirties, obviously career-type-mom with her three or four year old son.  The kid is being relatively well behaved and I’m super impressed.  His hair is perfect and obviously spiked with product.  His little argyle sweater and khaki pants are without stains and wrinkles.  This is the kind of kid that has no fun.  Maybe.  This kid is just standing there…WITH HIS HANDS BEHIND HIS BACK.  He wasn’t even in trouble y’all and he was just standing there.

So Awesome Kid is kind of looking around and then all of the suddenhe starts shouting.  It wasn’t clear at first because he was A) shouting and B) talking like a three or four-year-old but he managed to get a few words out before his horrified mother could drop the trousers and suit jackets she was apparently getting ready to try on and clamp her hand over his mouth with violent shushing.  His rhythm started out kind of off but I picked out what he was saying towards the end.  This is what I heard:

“I [mumble] BIG BUTTS AND I [mumble] LIE, YOU [mumble] OTHER…” aaaaaaaaaaand that’s when his mom’s hand clamped over his mouth…aaaaaaaaaaand when I started laughing hysterically.  Seriously.  If I had a kid and he was just doin’ his thing but wanted to bust out a song every now and then? I like to think that I’d allow him to do so.  In my imagination, I’m a super cool parent type.

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5 Responses to “Oh. My. God. Becky, look…”

  1. veronicamars Says:

    LA face with Oakland booty!

    My mom used to hate when my sister & I would sing along. Truthfully? We got half the words wrong because we didn’t understand the song. I mean, we understood the part where he likes big butts and he cannot lie, but most of the sex stuff went over our heads. Imagine my surprise (& horror) years later when I heard the song again…

  2. dmgsouth Says:

    I wish tweet this post. That is awesome! I have three kids and I think all of them tried something like that at some time.

  3. Jen @ lifelove'n'wine Says:

    That. Is. Awesome.

  4. Martie Says:

    OMG. I HAVE a kid who does this. His name is Caden and he’s 4. He sings “I like big butts and I cant not lie” and “Everybody was kung fu fighting” and “that’s the way, uh huh, uh huh, I liiiike it” and sometimes even “I believe I can’t fly…”

    We asked him not to say “big butts”…so then he sang “I like big BOOBS and I cant not lie”. These kids are cool. Fun. And are future American Idol Hopefuls. YAY.

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