Brutal Honesty

I decided to start being more honest. Like, brutally honest. So, as my first brutally honest revelation I’ll tell you a secret: I’m writing this post from the ladies restroom at my place of employment. That’s right! I’m in the restroom. Not only that, but I’m on the toilet right now. Do you know what that means? I’ll tell you: I don’t have my pants on right now. Fuck. Yeah. No pants. I feel strangely liberated in my pants-free state. I’m actually considering not wearing pants more often. Seriously. No. More. Pants. Well…maybe sometimes. I live in Oregon and sometimes it’s cold here. Like really, really cold…I’ll need pants during those months.

Anyway, what was I saying? I don’t even remember. Wait…I think I was *going* to say that I’m stuck in the ladies room because my coworkers suck. I’m pretty sure that’s where I was going with this. Or maybe not. That’s where I’m going now though. Get your safety belts on.

My coworkers are some seriously needy sons-of-bitches. Seriously. I won’t go into details because as much as they make me want to stab them I actually really like my job. But sometimes? Sometimes I just want to load them all up and take them to the glue factory. For realz, yo.

Today has been all my fault though. I’ve been screwing up left and right all day and it’s not fucking pretty. That report? I didn’t do it. That presentation?I forgot slides 11, 16 & 31…even after that one guy reminded me. My intern? I forgot today was his first day back and I was 30 minutes late meeting him. One giant strung of fuck ups back-to-fucking-back. Everyone has those days though…right? RIGHT?!

Word to the wise: when you see a coworker’s eye TWITCH when you say “You got a minute?” it would be best for EVERYONE if you just come back later. Or? Never. Never is a good second choice. Aaaaaaand…that’s all I have to say about that.

In case you were wondering? I still have no pants on. That’s right! No. Pants.

Don’t worry. I’m still in the restroom. I’m not that “free” yet.

One Response to “Brutal Honesty”

  1. Jen @ lifelove'n'wine Says:

    Oooo sounds like no fun! I hate days like that!

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