(Hopefully) New Beginnings

Several people have asked me what’s been going on lately.  I’m never quite sure how to answer them.  Typically, the appropriate answer is ‘fine’ because that’s what people expect to hear and want to believe.  But here’s the truth:

To say that I’ve been depressed lately would be a gross understantment.  I’ve been really, really down.  I have friends who can recognize the symptoms of a bout with depression and medicate, meditate, reduce stress, etc. to avoid it.  My depression seems to creep up on me slowly and silently and spring like a bear trap.  It leaves me writhing in pain and mental anguish and wondering “What the fuck is going on here?”  As with many times before this, I didn’t even know I was falling into depression until I was already there.  I think I’m coming out of it now, though.  For me, things tend to get a little foggy.  I become angry and irritated with people around me because on the inside I’m feeling anxious and self-conscious which I hate, but  feeling that way but I don’t know how to avoid it.

This is me. 

I’m not the kind of person to make “New Year’s Resolutions” but I’m going to try one this year:  I want to write more about who I am and how I feel and get it all out there.  Bottling it all up isn’t getting me anywhere productive and is actually proving to be quite damaging.  So…here goes nothing.

 Wish me luck.

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One Response to “(Hopefully) New Beginnings”

  1. patientes Says:

    Oh my darling Bekah… Everytime I think that I’m the one who needs to be petted, someone changes my mind… I miss you so much, chica… I miss your blog, too. Please come and make me happy! I’ve been in that little bizarre rut of depression lately too.

    I think you should know that we love you. That is all. <2

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